i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
