PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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