We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we're making bets on your personal life
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
