I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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