You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
