Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
