She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
