So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
