when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
