So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You can't special order awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
