Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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