She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
