Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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