just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
