is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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