who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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