I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
