help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
