On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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