Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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