i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
