Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
