East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
