i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
