the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
