My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
