his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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