After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
