Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
