if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
