Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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