Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
