Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need mimosas to revive my soul
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
