I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
