I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
