Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
