I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
