Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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