Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
