i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Boobs speak an international language.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
