Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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