Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
