woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
