Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
