I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
