i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
