You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
