just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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