I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
