I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
