I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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