Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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